Coming Undone Read online

  The thick end of the candle entered her.

  McKenna groaned. “Oh God.” She couldn’t stop from clenching around the intrusion, couldn’t stop rocking on it.

  Ren didn’t wait for her to get acclimated before he began thrusting deep, fucking her with deep, unwavering strokes. She cupped her tits as he pressed on her clit, lifting her hips, riding the candle. She was losing her mind with the pleasure, with the sounds Ren made, the words he whispered as he fucked her.

  He thrust then twisted. She cried out, back arching. She ached, her entire body hurt with the need to come, but Ren knew what he was doing. She couldn’t get him to touch her where she needed him. Something else entered her alongside the candle. Her eyes flew open.

  Ren had worked an index finger into her as well. Well and truly taking her over.

  “Jesus fuck, Ren.” She couldn’t look, couldn’t think. “I need…I need…please.”

  He winked at her then pulled out the candle as if in slow motion. Her mouth opened, no sound came out. He used it to tap gently at her swollen, protruding clit.

  She cried out, moving into the soft strike. He then rammed it back inside.

  McKenna screamed and came, body convulsing, lifting off the couch. The climax blinded her, and she collapsed into his waiting arms.

  ****

  After a shower and a late, late night snack, they finally collapsed in her bed. McKenna dozed, drifting in and out of sleep. A million and one thoughts flittered through her mind, but she tried to shut them all out. Ren snored softly in her ear, his arm around her, holding her.

  Always holding her.

  She wished he’d always be around to hold her. To keep her warm. She didn’t kid herself. She cared for him. Maybe even loved him. Did he know? Could he see it when he stared into her eyes while he made love to her, while he picked her body apart and put it back together? She saw tenderness in his eyes, caring and heat.

  So much fire when he looked at her. She didn’t see that when he talked about the other woman. The one who needed saving.

  Maybe that was his thing, saving women. But was he saving her? No. She couldn’t depend on him to deal with her problems. She’d take care of them herself. What she actually needed was a reprieve from the mess her life was, a vacation from the norm she now lived. That, she got from Ren. That was what she had, nothing more.

  How she wanted more.

  She rolled over and pressed her nose to his throat, inhaling his skin. The heat of him. Eyes sliding shut, she laid a hand on his chest and drifted off to the feel of him breathing.

  Movement rustled her awake. Ren rolled away from under her, and McKenna peeked through her lashes. Gray light teased the edges of the room. Morning was here. Her night was over. She didn’t move, didn’t say a word. He stood and got dressed, moving quietly. When he was fully dressed he turned to her.

  Knuckles touched her face. A fingertip traced her lips. Firm lips touched hers.

  “Good-bye, McKenna.” The whispered words were rough, husky. Emotional. “Maybe we’ll see each other again soon.”

  She wanted to look at him, but she couldn’t. Tears burned her eyes. Words stuck in her throat. All the words she wanted to speak. Before she knew it, he was striding across the bedroom to the door.

  “Ren.” She lifted her head. He didn’t turn around, just paused in his tracks and waited. “Don’t come back,” she said softly. His image blurred. She blinked to clear the tears. “Don’t come back, not unless it’s to stay.”

  His head bowed then he moved and disappeared. She buried her face in her pillow and cried herself back to sleep.

  The phone woke her. Her head ached, eyes felt swollen. She coughed at the dryness in her throat and yanked the phone from the night stand. She sat right up when she saw it was her mother’s doctor’s number.

  “He-hello?”

  “Ms. Lacey.” Doctor Morrow’s voice was heavy, sorrowful. “McKenna, you need to get over here. Now.”

  “What’s going on?” She rolled off the bed, staggering when a shot of pain in her skull almost blinded her.

  “I’m sorry.” The doctor sighed. “Three minutes ago your mother passed away quietly. I’m so sorry.”

  Chapter Ten

  Stella Selznick hadn’t aged much in the years since Ren had last laid eyes on her. She remained a gorgeous woman with deep, flashing gray eyes, and bright red hair. She also remained stubborn and uncaring as she sat opposite Ren and Carter at the kitchen table in a tiny apartment in Amsterdam’s West District.

  She hadn’t been surprised to see them. In fact, minutes after their plane landed at Amsterdam Airport Schiphol, Carter’s phone had gone off. Stella was on the other end, as calm as ever, as if she hadn’t been MIA for the past three years. She’d given them directions to her place, and there they sat, staring at her while she kept her eyes glued to Ren. He squirmed at the intensity there, the same kind that sent him running all those years ago.

  He kept looking at Stella and seeing McKenna. He kept wishing he hadn’t walked away, kept wondering if she was okay. Would she be okay?

  “The old man is on his way,” Carter told Stella softly.

  She jerked her gaze to him. “Why?”

  Pushing his chair back, Ren frowned at her. “What do you mean why, Stella? He’s your father. He misses you. You can’t just disappear for all this time without a word.”

  “You mean like you did?”

  Well. Took her long enough to bring that up, didn’t it? He sat back and folded his arms. “He’s not my father. He’s yours. You’re his only daughter. He wants to know you’re okay.”

  “I am okay.” Her mouth tightened. “Call him back and tell him I’m fine.”

  “No can do, Stel.” Carter sounded impatient. “You’re a big girl. It’s time to deal with the mess you made by leaving.”

  “What about the mess he made?” She jerked her chin toward Ren. “What about the mess he made and left us to clean up?”

  “Stella.”

  “Whose fault was it?” Carter interrupted Ren’s growled warning. “You couldn’t take no for an answer, right?” he asked Stella. “So you pushed him and he did the right thing. He left. I’d have run from your jailbait ass too.”

  Stella’s chin trembled. She bit her bottom lip and glared at Carter. “Fuck you, Carter.”

  His brother rolled his eyes but remained quiet.

  “Stella, why did you stay here?” Ren asked. “And why don’t you want to go back home?”

  “This is my home, Ren.” She gazed around the room. “This place is mine. I’ve got a job. I’ve got friends.” She swallowed. “I like it here.”

  “Your father—”

  “My father wants me where he can keep his eyes on me,” she grumbled. “Make sure I don’t fuck up and ruin his good name.”

  “Is that really such a bad thing?” He didn’t get it. The old man was all about family, and as Stella was his only daughter, it was a guarantee that she’d be under a microscope.

  She shook her head. “It’s not a bad thing…until it begins to chafe and stifle.”

  “So let me get this straight,” Carter spoke up. “You want to be out from under your father’s spotlight, so you drop off the grid, move to Amsterdam, and hide out?”

  “I’m not hiding.”

  Carter snorted. “Could’ve fooled me, Stel.”

  “I can’t go back,” she screamed. “That fucking house is filled with bad memories. I can’t do it.”

  “This is fucked up.” Ren scrubbed a hand over his face. “You just disappeared, Stella.” He didn’t hide the anger in his voice. “You went away. Your father has been worried sick, and you’re saying it’s because you can’t deal with the memories?” He stared at her, incredulous. “Are you a fucking kid? You don’t do shit like that. We thought Salim had done something, hurt you somehow.”

  She didn’t speak, just stared him down, arms folded.

  “The old man’s been worried sick. You could have at least called, Stella.
” Ren touched her cheek. Her lashes fluttered. He pulled away. “Let him know you were all right.”

  “Like you did?”

  Okay, clearly there’d be no reasoning with her. Ren got up and moved to the door. “I’m done here.” Hopefully her father would have better luck talking sense into her. Ren rubbed his temple. It had been three days since he’d left McKenna’s bed. He ached to crawl back in, wrap around her, bask in her heat.

  Don’t come back unless it’s to stay.

  She needed stability. She needed someone to be there with her, by her side. Someone to take care of her. She’d been doing it for herself for too long. If he could be that someone, he’d go to her in a heartbeat. Just to watch the shadows in her eyes melt away, to watch that gorgeous smile blossom. But he’d been moving since forever it felt like now, and he wasn’t sure he knew how to remain still anymore. He needed to get rid of Salim. That he knew for sure. He hadn’t been the reason for Stella’s disappearance, but he couldn’t be allowed to mess with McKenna ever again.

  Pulling his phone from his jacket pocket, Ren looked over his shoulder at Carter. “Gotta make a call. I’ll be back.” The time was past due for him to act on what he’d been putting off. He had just the thing to put Salim in his place.

  Slender arms wrapped around him from behind as he stood outside in the open doorway. He stiffened.

  “Stella.”

  “I’ve missed you, RJ.”

  She released him, and he turned to face her. Her eyes were once again wide and hopeful. He touched her hair, pushed it away from her face like he used to do all the years ago. She leaned in to the touch. He’d loved her so much back then. Loved her with all the innocence and good intentions of his nineteen-year-old heart.

  “We’re older now,” she whispered. “Nothing is in our way.” She cupped his jaw and leaned in, brushing her lips where she touched. “I haven’t stopped wanting this.”

  He opened his mouth but didn’t get the chance to speak a word. Stella kissed him, a hungry press of lips, a grown-up intrusion of tongue. Ren hesitated for a second until Stella’s familiar scent and touch took over, and then he buried his fingers in her hair and matched her kisses with his own.

  ****

  She lived a nightmare, but no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many times she pinched herself, McKenna couldn’t wake up. She hadn’t allowed herself the time to grieve her mother’s death. More accurately, Salim hadn’t left her alone.

  He’d returned from his trip and ordered her to his side, only easing up the bonds long enough for her to deal with the pesky details of settling her mother’s affairs and arranging to have her cremated.

  Her ashes were in a gray urn over in the brownstone. She tried not to look at it whenever she stepped into the living room, but she hadn’t had much luck with that. Lucky for her, she hadn’t had to get naked for Salim. Whatever he was dealing with had him cranky and ornery and way busy. She kept him company all day while he did meetings and whatever the hell else he did, but he kept her with him until she was damn near falling down with tiredness. Then he’d send her home. The good thing about that was she was always too damn exhausted to do anything except crawl into bed.

  It had been a week since Ren left, since her life went to hell. She really was well and truly alone, and McKenna didn’t know how to deal with it, so she didn’t. She locked it all away, tight and safe from herself-examinations.

  “We’re here, ma’am.”

  She nodded and waited for the driver to open her door and escort her out. Salim had requested she join him for a late lunch, so she’d splashed cold water on her dull skin and applied some lip gloss. It was an imitation of her game face, but damn it, he couldn’t expect her to be all perky after her mother died. Not like he’d acknowledged it. He hadn’t once mentioned her mother’s passing.

  She swallowed the bitterness, rearranging her face into something that closely resembled a smile. She wouldn’t be doing that for much longer, that much she knew. Still, she had to pick the perfect opportunity. But one way or the other she was getting away from that soul sucker. Not for the first time, she regretted not taking Ren up on his offer to deal with Salim.

  The driver opened the door and offered her his arm. She crawled out of the limo with the smile in place. Inside the restaurant, she spotted Salim quickly. He wasn’t alone.

  Her heart leapt to her throat and remained stuck there.

  She didn’t have to be a fucking rocket scientist to know what he was up to. This soon after her mother’s death, he was back to sharing her. Why she was surprised by that, McKenna couldn’t rightly say. She walked up to Salim and his companion. The stranger wasn’t dressed like one of Salim’s regular pals. For one, he was young, judging from what she could of his face not hidden behind the dark sunglasses. He wasn’t dressed for business. He wore jeans and boots and a dark leather jacket over a black cable-knit sweater. His shoulders were wide, his skin tanned, and his hair cut close to his scalp.

  “McKenna, here you are.” Salim got to his feet to greet her. His companion followed suit.

  She knitted her brow. Since when did Salim show any kind of deference to her?

  “Mr. Bowen, allow me to introduce the lovely McKenna Lacey.”

  What the hell had she stepped into? Salim was never that accommodating.

  “Ms. Lacey.” The guy took her hand in his much larger, gloved ones and nodded once. “A pleasure to meet you.” A corner of his mouth lifted. “I’ve heard so much about you. I feel like we’re already intimately acquainted.” His hand tightened on hers.

  She stiffened. She should run. Her head screamed run, but where would she go?

  “Sit. Sit.” Salim gestured. The two men waited until her ass settled into her seat before taking theirs as well.

  Heart hammering in her chest, McKenna stared at the manila envelope on the table in front of Mr. Bowen. He tapped a gloved finger over it, and somehow she knew her ass was in trouble.

  “Now, who wants something to drink?” Salim rubbed his hands together. She saw the glee in his eyes. He’d fucked her over once again. She just knew it.

  Shit didn’t even come as a surprise anymore.

  “Nothing for me,” she said softly.

  “I’m not here to dine,” Bowen said sharply. “Let’s take care of this business.” He held up the envelope. “I’m sure once you see what I have in here, you’ll agree to my terms.”

  Sweat pooled under McKenna’s armpits and dampened her palms. Jesus fuck. Her mind ran in all kind of crazy directions. What did that man have, and what did she have to do with it? For a moment she thought maybe he knew about Ren, but she shrugged that off. If Salim had proof she’d fucked around, he’d strangle her with his bare hands. Definitely not in public.

  Unless the man was just now showing him the evidence?

  McKenna bit the inside of her cheek and remained frozen in place. Sounds disappeared as she waited for the bottom to fall out from under her.

  Curiosity flashed in Salim’s eyes as he took the envelope and opened it with a slide of his finger. She held her breath. He pulled out one photograph and stared at it. She couldn’t see what he looked at from her angle, but she did see his eyes flare in shock and panic before he blanked his features.

  His jaw ticked.

  What the hell was going on?

  “There’s more where that came from,” Bowen spoke up. “Of course.”

  Salim didn’t raise his gaze from the photo. “What do you want?” he barked.

  Bowen laughed. “Why do you think I told you to bring your lovely female companion along?” He grinned, a blinding flash of white, straight teeth that sparked something in McKenna’s mind. Recognition. Before she could chase that thought, his words registered.

  “What?” She looked from Salim to Bowen and back. “What’s going on?”

  “I want her.”

  “No!” She didn’t even know what she was saying no to, other than the word needed to be said. Over and over until the two
men heard it and understood. She pushed her chair back.

  “Don’t move!” Salim jerked his head up. “Be quiet, McKenna.”

  She whimpered. The bastard couldn’t just… he couldn’t just give her away, could he? He wouldn’t simply hand her over to some questionable stranger.

  The men ignored her. Bowen leaned toward Salim and spoke in a low voice. “That is only one of more than fifty photos.”

  Damn it, what was in that photograph?

  “It’s yours. The secrets you have can continue to remain that only if you give me what I want.” He paused and turned to McKenna. “Who I want.”

  She didn’t hide the tremors his words brought. Who was this man? She couldn’t see his eyes, couldn’t make out his features. There was nothing distinctive about him, nothing markedly different other than it appeared he was blackmailing Salim in order to have her.

  “Why her?” Salim asked.

  Bowen shrugged. “Let’s just say that I’ve seen her in action.”

  Oh God. She choked, fighting to keep from throwing up all over the table.

  Salim went back to studying the photo he held.

  “Do we have a deal?” The impatience showed in Bowen’s voice. “I’ve got places to be.”

  “How long?” Salim’s gaze flicked to McKenna then away. “How long will you keep her?”

  “No. Please,” she begged. “Don’t.” She begged. Both men ignored her. Tears ran down her face and she dashed them away with cold, stiff fingers.

  “As long as I feel like,” Bowen answered Salim. “The fact remains, she won’t belong to you anymore.”

  Those words, they should have made her happy. But she realized she much preferred the bastard she knew to the one she didn’t.

  “McKenna, I’m sorry.” Salim met her gaze. Pity shone in the depths of his eyes. Pity. For her.

  “You son of a bitch,” she cried. “Isn't it enough that I lowered myself to whore for you, for your friends?” she spat. “You’re selling me off now?”